Friday, January 13, 2012

My Kitchen is Sticky and Hairy

Bet you don't see that everyday.  I'm thinking you probably want the details,  Well-- there was a coke can explosion of epic proportions in my kitchen and then I decided to give Caleb a haircut shortly after.  Either event could be considered traumatic-- the combination?  Disaster zone.

So it all started when I was unpacking the groceries and loading them into the fridge.  The kids were at the table eating lunch.  As I'm loading the cans of coke zero into the handy dandy fridge door can holder the box tips and cans of coke zero plummet to the floor.  One of the cans must have been pierced because the next thing I know coke is spraying EVERYWHERE.  It was like a high pressure water gun-- spraying probably four or five feet.  I of course stand there stunned as coke is spraying me from head to toe.  My clothes and hair are drenched in coke.  Then the can shifts and suddenly it's SPINNING super fast in the middle of my kitchen floor-- coke is spraying round and round my kitchen like a sprinkler.  Picture spin the bottle.  FInally I come to my senses, grab the can, and make a run for the kitchen sink-- effectively spraying the upper portion of my kitchen in the process.

Finally.  After the can of coke is empty I collapse in the middle of my kitchen floor and begin to laugh uncontrollably.  At this point the kids actually looked up for the first time.  They stare at my like I'm a crazy person.  Apparently they were too engrossed in their lunch to notice what was happening.  Apparently I'd made a pretty ridiculously amazing lunch

So needless to say-- my kitchen was COVERED in coke zero.  There was coke spray inside my fridge, on every wall, a fine misting all over every surface of my cabinets, there was coke puddles and spray over the entire floor, down the hallway and into the dining room. There was coke mist on the windows 10 feet away.  On the table.  Everywhere.

After changing out of my coke drenched clothing I attempted to clean up the mess.  I gave up partway through-- it was a big job and my heart just wasn't into it.  At that point I glanced over at Caleb and noticed how insanely crazy his hair had gotten.  I decided to cut it.  Immediately,  As in "don't move-- sit there while I grab the scissors and clippers from the bathroom right now!"  Bad idea.

Caleb has serious amounts of hair.  It had gotten pretty long-- actually both my kids have been pretty stylin' lately.  Emerson's been sporting a very tangled (sometimes matted) short long for quite some time now and Caleb's hair was in the early mullet stages.  Check it out.

So after trimming with the scissors for quite some time (like the amount of time it would take for him to watch two episodes of Team Umizoomi on my laptop) I decided that it looked pretty terrible.  An exceptionally gifted hair cutter I am not.  So I broke out the clippers and buzzed the rest of it off. 

Then I turned around and saw what I had done to my kitchen.  Sticky coke sprayed all over every surface... piles and piles of Caleb's hair drifting and blowing all around me.  Of course, he then jumps from the chair shakes himself( and the towel) off and then proceeds to run all over the place.  Poor little guy was itchy.  And exceptionally hairy.

Then I bribed Caleb with half a glass of coke to keep him occupied at the table while I attempted to clean up the disaster zone.  It was one sticky and hairy kitchen.  I am one of those people who happen to be extra sensitive about my feet.  Can't handle having stuff stuck on my bare feet or shifty socks.  Cleaning up my kitchen was pretty much my worst nightmare.

I learned many valuable life lessons from yesterday afternoon.  Like...

 Coke and hair are not a good combination-- both on the floor and in my hair (sticky coke and hairspray residue do not go well together)

It's better to clean up messes immediately rather than wait till later.

I am not skilled in the art of hairdressing.

Instead of downloading two $1.99 episodes of Team Umizoomi on my laptop I am better off paying for a Great Clips professional employee to cut Caleb's hair.  While I wouldn't necessarily consider someone at Great Clips an amazing hair stylist-- they've got to be more gifted than I am.

Giving your child coke zero late in the day is never a good idea.  While it may be calorie and sugar free-- it's not lacking in the caffeine department.  And after cleaning up that kitchen I was in no mood for the pre dinner crazies.

And... even the stickiest and hairiest situations can be funny.  The next day.


kelly ens said...

Oh my goodness, hilarious. (the day after, of course).
i AM a little disappointed that there is no picture of the kitchen in it's messy state! :)

Flowers2boys said...

Hilarious!! Oh the pre diner crazies are not my favorite either - along with the after diner crash!
Caleb's hair cut is great - i too try to cut hair and sometimes everyone knows i "tried"!!

Carol said...

What a story!

Kirsten said...

Haha! I can totally picture the scene of your kitchen yesterday. Great story : )

KDees said...

Hilarious! Great post! I, too, don't like anything on my feet, as in crumbs, dust balls, etc. I sweep religiously and even then, it's not good enough. I wear slippers almost all year to keep from feeling the dirty floors!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! Although I don't envy your clean-up. :-) Caleb's haircut looks great--better than what I did to my husband's two weeks before the wedding last month!


tan said...

you are such a great story teller! Sounds like you had quite the mess to clean up. But, I think Caleb's new do looks quite cute:)

christine, just bella said...

Hilarious, you had me laughing out loud... How did your kids not notice coke explosion!?? Haha.

Bonnie said...

I couldn't have done it. I would have listed my house then and there. Just sell it and move on. Where would you even BEGIN with a mess like that!?!? AHHHH! I take my hat off to you for even TRYING to clean that up. Yikes. :)

Trev and Rebekah said...

You make me smile! I am sure your hair cutting abilities are far better than mine. My hubby won't even let me try to cut his! :0)

Are you coming on Friday?

Dan and Lynn said...

Oh my!! I think I would have been far too overwhelmed by a mess that big! Coke is not something you want sprayed all over your floor, walls, etc.! Great job on the haircut, though! I cut my boys' hair too, but I omit the scissors, and just use clippers:). If you're looking for a good place to get kids cuts, I used to take Ethan to a place called Shear Performance (over by the tennis bubble). They have a tractor chair, etc. as well as bubbles & toys to distract kids.

GSFALK said...

Hilarious... they stole my word! Oh my, and yet you learned so many great lessons. If there's one thing that ... even now, makes me shiver, it's "sticky". I can handle dirt, but not sticky! You painted the scene very well with your words, so I can imagine the whole scene, but I'm just cringing at the same time. ie., Sara and Tim could only have suckers in the bathtub. Great story, tho!