Fall Pictures

Last Sunday Doug, Caleb, and I went to the park across the street with Erik, Jamie, & family to snap some fall pics. We took some shots of their family and they got a few good ones of us! Here are some of my favorites from the day.


Here's Grandma with her three Grandchildren.


Such cuties. Aren't I a lucky auntie?




I think this is my favorite picture from the afternoon. What a sad face!

Here's my little man!

Well, it's week 2 of Doug being back at work. It feels a little strange to be at home with Caleb all by myself! How's it been going? Good! Caleb is such a happy and content baby. He's already sleeping through the night (most of the time), naps well during the day, and rarely fusses or cries. He's starting to smile and laugh, especially for Doug. Before the accident, I remember feeling worried about being at home taking care of a baby. I assumed it would be the most exhausting thing I'd do in my day. However, now I feel that taking care of Caleb and being a mom is easy! It's more mentally exhausting to take care of myself as I try to do things that should be simple-- like taking a shower (washing your hair with 1 hand is not easy, let me tell you), trying to do my hair one-handed, unloading the dishwasher 1 plate at a time, getting dressed... the list goes on. Oh well. You get creative and find ways get things done! I had an interesting Doctor's appointment last week. For the last few weeks I felt like there was something lodged far into my ear. One night I tried to get "it" out with my pinkie and realized that it was probably a piece of glass (it's my left ear, the one that would have been closest to the window that broke over me in the accident). I told the Doctor about it, and sure enough, he removed a pea sized piece of glass from my ear! It's crazy to think it's been in there for 3 months. I think I also found another piece that's starting to make it's way to the surface on my arm. The Doctors told me that I could have glass coming out of my arm and hands for years to come. Gross.

Well, Caleb's down for a nap, so I should probably take a shower before he wakes up! Hope you all enjoy the pictures.

One Busy Weekend...

After a busy weekend of Starbucks, breakfast at White Spot, watching Daddy play volleyball, making thai food, movie watching, playing with my cousins, hanging out with my Aunties and Uncle, I'm tired! (says Caleb) That's why I'm spending the day napping!

Thanksgiving

Usually Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times of the year. I love the changing season, a time to celebrate with family & friends, the food, and of course the chance to reflect on God's many blessings. This was a bit of a tough weekend however, even though my sisters were out from Saskatchewan to visit us. They were a wonderful distraction, but Doug and I really struggled with thankfulness in light of everything that's happened. It's hard to be in a season of life where every joyful moment is somehow tainted by overwhelming sadness and heartache. I visited Nate's grave for the first time today. What a day.

I'm sure many of you are wondering about my shoulder and many other ailments. About 2 weeks ago I visited an orthopedic surgeon who told me I would definitely be needing more surgery on my shoulder. The X-rays he saw led him to believe that it was dislocated with several broken bones. He ordered a CT scan, which I had the following day, and then this past week I went in to see him. Surprisingly, he told me that my shoulder was no longer dislocated! Also, many of the bones that were fractured had already healed-- only one fracture has yet to heal. A miracle. That's the only explanation I can come up with. Prayers are being answered.

I know I should be happy about this-- and don't get me wrong-- I'm so relieved that I won't be needing surgery anytime soon. However, out of all the doctors I've seen this guy was the most realistic with me. He told me that I may never be able to raise my right arm above shoulder height ever again. All I could think about was how different life is going to look. No more volleyball, basketball, playing squash with Doug. I won't be able to throw a ball or play catch with Caleb. As I had thought about the possibility of having more surgery done on my shoulder before meeting with the doctor, I had the hope that they would be able to fix it to look a bit more like a normal shoulder. Now I just feel like I'm going to have to settle with what I've got right now. It's hard to look in the mirror and see how disfigured I look. In some ways I was okay with surgery because I thought they would be able to fix it-- it's appearance, and it's mobility. Now I just feel like my shoulder is the best it's going to be. So it's back to physio for me.

This Thanksgiving and over the past few weeks I've heard this line a few times: "Things could have been a lot worse. Be thankful that (fill in the blank) didn't happen." I know that people mean well when they say that, and I myself often think about what could have happened and thank God that it didn't, but honestly, I hate that line of reasoning. It downplays this experience and makes me feel like somehow I shouldn't be feeling so upset about Nate's death and frustrated by my injuries. In all honesty, life feels pretty terrible. I can't forget about what's going on in my life at this moment and be grateful about everything. What I have learned lately, is that God can accept me as I am right now. Sometimes, all I can do is say His name and breathe a "thank-you" as I hold Caleb, and that's okay. It's a strange place to be in and a difficult road to walk, but this weekend I learned that suffering and thankfulness are not mutally exclusive. They can coexist with one another. Here's how:

Caleb and his Auntie Trish.

Hanging out with Auntie Angie.

Out for a fun dinner at the Mongolie Grill.

Getting sleepy in the car on our shopping trip in Vancouver.