Thursday, April 28, 2011

Light Show

Maybe you've noticed... maybe not... but when I take pictures around the house I try my best to make sure the light fixtures are not included in the photo.  Why?  Because we haven't gotten around to replacing any of the original light fixtures.  The original ones-- for the most part-- are pretty uninspiring.

However!  After cleaning out my closet a few weeks ago (and selling a bunch of old clothes on craigslist) I had $100 burning a hole in my pocket!  I decided it was time.  Time to put a light fixture in our room that I love.  And love it I do!!

Ummm... yeah, so I still don't have my camera... hence the iphone photos.
Aren't they pretty though?

Now... I know you're all wondering... what could possibly have been there before that was so offensive?

I've said it before... sometimes aesthetics are more important to me than practicality.  A ceiling fan is a completely practical choice for a bedroom that gets stifling hot in the summer (all 6 weeks of it).  But what if that ceiling fan is NOT aesthetically pleasing and is NOT practical?  Unfortunately this fan is not only ugly to look it, it also doesn't work.  I've tried to use it during the hottest of hot days for the past 2 years but the fan just does not move any air in the room, and when it really starts to go fast it starts to shake and rattle like you wouldn't believe.  I used to lie awake in bed at night listening to it get all wound up fearing decapitation.  So, I am not sad to see the fan go.  for the 46 cold weeks of the year I will enjoy the beauty of my new light fixture, and for the remaining 6 hot weeks of the year I will sleep in my cool, quiet, decapitating fan-free basement guest room.

While I'm at it... why don't take you on a light fixture tour of the rest of the house?

First up, the hallway.  I've got a PAIR of these staring at me everyday.  So offensive.  So inappropriate.  Enough said.

Would you believe me if I told you that I've actually paid money... real money... for a light fixture that looks identical to this one in Caleb's room?  Doug and I had a light fixture like this one in the bedroom of a basement suite Doug and I rented a long time ago.  For some reason, when Doug makes the bed he likes to give the sheets a good snap when he shakes them into place.  One morning he snapped those sheets like never before and snapped the light fixture into two pieces.  So off we went to Home Depot for a replacement.  So sad.

This one's in the entryway of our house.  Doug and I have quite different feelings about this fixture.  When Doug looks at it he thinks "now there's a perfectly sensible light fixture that does an adequate job of lighting our entryway."  When I look at it I think, "now there is an unattractive fixture that looks like it it came straight from the torture chamber of a medieval castle."  I don't know why but it just gives me that vibe.  I don't think Doug's going to let me change it anytime soon.  Maybe if I find the most amazing light fixture for an amazing price... like $5.00... he'll go for it :)

And finally, the dining room.  I really have nothing against this one.  It's semi-attractive, it's does a great job of lighting the room... most people would like it.  I guess it just doesn't give me that feeling of WOW!  It's not a WOW kind of light fixture.  I want WOW when I sit in my dining room eating hot dogs as my kids throw food on the floor, gag, and then throw up their dinner.

What I really want is something like this from Restoration Hardware.  I think that the worst of dinners could be made better by a light fixture like this one.

Only problem is, I don't have an extra $500 in my budget for the RH light fixture.  Shocking... I know.  If anyone knows of a light fixture that looks like this but is a MAJOR deal, please let me know!  And if anyone would like the purchase any of my pre-existing light fixtures, please... let me know :)

But if you had your eye on the decapitating ceiling fan, your sadly out of luck.  It's already found a new home at the dump.


Gord and Andrea said...

okay, i laughed through this entire post :) my thoughts exactly about most of the lights in our house... which i am slowly changing. i can't wait for a lovely light in my bedroom... i probably think about it WAY too much!!! i had my eye on the exact same light from RH but not about to spend $500 on the beauty. we got ours at Home depot for $140...

Janice said...

Okay, we had the same pair of boob-lights (which is what we called them) that you have in your hallway, in the bedroom of our old condo! I begged and begged until we replaced them with something more suitable. I share your pain.

Erica said...

unfortunately, the day we picked light fixtures for our house was the day after Dan had shoulder surgery, and I guess we just wanted to get it done, because as hard as I tried not to let it happen, we do have some "boob-ish" looking lights in our house...I hope to one day redeem myself and select nicer ones!

kelly ens said...

ALSO laughing my way through this post. I have laid awake at night wondering if the shaking, rattling fan will come down and shred my legs to bits. although i guess that's better than decapitation.
and yes, the boob lights! Awesome.
for real - when i win the lottery (maybe i should start playing!), YOU will come redesign our house. why have you not made a career of this yet?

Carol said...

What a funny post! We are just getting around to changing some of our light fixtures!

Leanne said...

Elissa! Did you see that exact shade at Homesense for $10? Clearance section... last weekend. I stood there for 10 minutes thinking about how I could potentially DIY around(?), on(?), with(?) the ridiculous light fixtures we have in our house. I read a tutorial about using a regular lamp shade to DIY pendant fixtures using what you have. Unfortunately, I don't think it would work with what I have.

Perhaps it's still there? Perhaps you could work your magic!

I agree, funny, funny post. Gotta love the booby lights.

Lindsay said...

the hallway lights! I laughed.

Elissa said...

Oh ladies... I'm SO glad I'm not the only one that sees boobies in lights. Here I thought I my breastfeeding mommy brain was becoming a bit too hyper sensitive... :)

kathleen marie said...

I think you might like this. At least I do, and want you to look at it :)

Team AC said...

ha ha, so funny... I totally laughed my way thru this post also. Too bad it was while my kids were writing a test... one of them looked up and asked me what was so funny, so I quickly put up a funny 1-min video and made them think that's what I was laughing about... don't think they would have found a lighting blog post quite as interesting, seeing as they're 12!
Well done, esp the part about your entryway light, and Doug's thoughts about it... SOOOO funny. Just like Andrew (my husband).

Amy Smith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amy said...

two things made me think about this post today:

1) the boob lights - I was watching an episode of Sarah's House and there was much conversation about the boob lights

2)I was in a design store today who is closing out and they gave me a lamp shade for free. Its the same idea as the last picture shown here but not exactly like it. I told the owner of the store that I had a friend in BC who might like it.... soooooo, if you want a free lamp shade when you're here this summer its yours. If not, no worries, I'm sure I could find a use for it somewhere around here! I should let you know though it has some water staining on it but I'm pretty sure I could get it out.